44

days left to go! What a wonderful number!

Today I am dealing with the dregs of a cold that has been here for a week, I'm never sick and this one has totally floored me!  I can't actually remember the last time I had a cold... but boy it's making up for that.  I think it's on the way out though - I'm now at the congested in my throat stage, and can breath a little easier at least :)

Sunday was mothers day - it was a turning point day for me. It been a rough day for the last few years, having had 2 losses and it taking so long to finally get pregnant again, it's been a day I dread.  Seeing everyones' happy posts and the crazy commercialism push used to almost destroy me.  This year I was able to blissfully ignore it, I'm not a mum yet according to DH, but he did make me pancakes for breakfast :)

Sunday was a big day for me, in terms that I washed all the baby clothes!  I took off all the tags, and washed them and hung them out on the line to dry.  That was a huge step for me, I'm finally thinking that at the end of this journey we will have our LO in our arms.

On Friday and Saturday we went out and bought the car seat, the bassinet and a breast pump, and on Sunday evening we put the crib sheet and bumper pad up in the crib, and put away all his clothes into the dresser.  I had a small cry about potentially jinxing us, but DH gave me a hug, made me a cuppa tea and we played a board game.

Items left to purchase: bassinet mattress protector and sheet, change pad and cover, more cloth diaper inserts, bath wash stuff (still not sure what to get for that yet).

Thank you to all for your comments on my "friend" issue - I appreciated all your insight.  I think you guys are right, and it's time to let the relationship die a natural death, I'm not getting anything from it but grief, and as much as I keep trying for the childrens' sake, it's just making me angrier on the inside.