Good news, bad news

Had my monthly doctors appointment this am and we finally got the NT scan results - I can't believe I've had to wait so long for them :(

The good news is the downs risk came back as 1 in 16,000, and for my age it's generally 1 in 500.

The bad news (or potentially bad news) is my PAPP-A score is below normal - 0.33 when the lower limit is 0.36 - my doctor said this is a relatively new screening and may mean nothing, but it can indicate fetal growth issues of placenta problems.  So from 20 weeks I will be getting monthly ultrasounds, and scheduling weekly doctors appointments from 30 weeks onwards.

I'm a little freaked out - I did the worst thing possible and googled low PAPP-A scores and want to curl up in a ball and cry.  Google is not a nice place for me right now.

I have my anatomy u/s scheduled for the 1st Feb, and am hoping I get a nicer tech this time who will tell me if the baby is measuring on track for development.  They will not tell the sex.

The heartbeat was 149 today, it was 160 at our last u/s on 20thDec, I'm sure its normal to have it vary.  The doctor said my uterus was measuring perfectly on target - which was a nice thing to hear.

I guess I'm just trying to take in this new news, and decide how to share it with my family, being categorised as high risk was something I didn't want, although happy if it makes it safer for the baby.  I'm just scared that this is going to turn out like our past experiences again :(