Monday, 17 June 2013

Almost a year!

How on earth has almost a full year passed? It seems crazy to me... I have an almost one year old, and time has gone by so fast!

I obviously haven't been posting on my blog at all... I need to get a full post written with all my updates, I have it all in my head, just not managed to get free time in front of a computer!

Watch this space!!

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Vacation time

So I am on 2 weeks vacation before the maternity leave kicks in on the due date, and it's odd.  Day 1 was pleasant a friend came over, we did tea and chatted, day 2 was day time tv (which is really bad!) and finishing off knitting a shawl, and day 3 has begun and I'm bored??

I have so many things i want to do, clean the kitchen, clean the bathroom, finish knitting the 2 adult sweaters i have on the needles, and I can't be bothered doing anything!

Baby boy is doing great, NST yesterday confirmed hb is still good, and although he wasn't as active as normal, he still completed everything he needed to do in the 20 minutes.  I'm getting more contractions, and a lot of lower pelvis pressure but nothing seems to be going on on the outside yet.

I have the doctors tomorrow for another cervix check, last weeks was rather painful so not really looking forward to it!  But I am hoping that at least we will have some progress from last week, who knows though really.

Slept pretty good last night - for the first time in memory I only got up twice for the bathroom! I felt like a million dollars when i woke up :)

Now we play the waiting game and wonder when LO will come out to meet us :)

Friday, 8 June 2012

Last Day of Work

Today is my last day at work, I am taking 2 weeks vacation time, then my mat leave will start - I am so relieved this day is finally here.  I am looking forward to putting my feet up and being able to fully relax, although all the little things around the house that need cleaned are calling out to me!

I am excited - we have less than 20 days to go till d-day and i still have my money on the 20th - for some odd reason it's stuck in my head. Knowing my luck I'll go overdue though!

I've been getting a LOT of lower back cramping, that feels a lot like period pain, and gives me a headache too, the only relief I have found is doing standing (read as desk leaning) pelvic tilts.  First time I had them they lasted 3 hours and I thought it was possibly back labour.  I've had 2 pregnancy massages now and it's felt pretty damn good for a few hours afterwards, I'm booked in for one ore, then I'll take a wee break for a bit I think.

Had my first cervix check yesterday, that was a little uncomfortable!  I'm apparently at mid-position, closed and completely soft, who really knows what that means... they want low, soft and open for the baby to come.  My doc said in the next 2 weeks LO should be here, but seriously how can you tell? I read stories about people dilating overnight or stalling for weeks...

Regardless I am so grateful to be in this position, even though my hips feel like they are on fire when I first stand up and attempt to walk.  I waddle now, and getting anywhere walking takes 3 times as long :)  Still I am still smiling and his movements still bring me such joy - can't wait to meet this little firecracker!

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Full term?

I'm 36 weeks today, according to the WTE app I'm in my 37th week and thus full term! I know I keep saying it but that's just crazy!  We have 4 weeks left till d-day (due date), I go back and forward on whether I think we will go early or late now.

I am hoping to go around the 20th - about 7/8 days early so I have a little time getting used to caring for a newborn before my parents arrive!

I'm getting more pains these days, and last night I think DH was worried it was go time, I went to bed early cause I just didn't feel quite right and had pains every time i stood up and went to the bathroom.  I think the baby has just dropped even lower and the pressure is now pretty intense.  I had some back pain earlier but I'm feeling okay now, it's so hard for me to define pain levels.  Having never really had contractions before, it's also hard to determine if the pain i am having is actual contractions or just squirmy uncomfortable baby movements.  My belly is pretty much rock solid most of the time, so I'm unsure when they explain the tightening sensation feeling, is that what i am feeling or is that just my normal belly?

This morning I heard the best news though! My brother and SIL have been TTC for 9 years, with one failed IVF, they just got the results of their FET and they are pregnant! I am so overjoyed for them - it's just wonderful news, they are obviously still being cautious but you could hear the relief in their voices when they called.  I remember that so well.

And because I think this post should finish on something cute, I show you the babies home coming outfit, well cardigan, booties and hat.  These were hand knit by me, and are more blue than the photo shows them, I am hoping the wee monkey comes out at the right size to wear them.

This week we will install the car seat into the truck and pack the hospital bag!  Still got to pick up the medicine stuffs, but I did get nail clippers and one of those snot extractor thingies ;)

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

35 weeks down

It seems insane that we have 5 weeks left to go - that's 35 days till due date!  I have 2.5 weeks left at work before I take 2 weeks vacation, and then start my mat. leave on the due date.

I am hoping that LO will arrive around a week before the due date, that way I have some time to become used to a newborn before my parents visit.  They have flights booked for a week after the due date, I'm a little worried baby will hang out till they arrive... which I am sure my mum will love!

Today we had our u/s and NST.  He did great as usual, completing all the actions required for the NST in the first 9 minutes.  I noted to the nurse that he's been quieter than usual, and rather than kicks I've been feeling more "smooshy" movements, which I attribute to the space being reduced.  She confirmed that's most likely, and at the end of the test, we counted LO's movements and he had 26 in 20 minutes - she joked that's not bad since all they want is 6 in an hour...

Onto the u/s - DH and I were trying to guess the babies weight before the test, I figured he'd be about 5lb 4oz and DH reckoned 6lbs - which I thought was ridiculous - esp as at the last scan (4 wks ago) he was only 3lb 12oz.  Well baby measured in at a whopping 5lb 10oz today!  He's sitting at the 50% mark for his growth, and the tech pretty much confirmed he has a huge head...

Our doctor mentioned a large head a few weeks ago, and today I asked the tech to give us an estimate.  He laughed and said well it's not above 90% - but the way he said it makes me think it's probably pretty close - around 85%..  Ah well baby has to come out regardless :)

He also let us see the baby in 3D - it was amazing, and although not allowed to he let us take a picture of the 3D image on our phones!  Baby has DH's nose so I am happy :)  He's gorgeous - we have very few decent ultrasound pictures - they are all blurry or half skeletal as the baby is so active, so this one is truly cherished!

Sleep wise I have good days and bad, most nights I have about an hour to an hour and a half then I wake in pain, or need to go to the bathroom, last night I only woke twice - it was heavenly.  I feel very rested.  The cold is finally starting to go away, and it's getting easier to breathe, but I'm still a little congested and that does make it harder to sleep.

The swelling continues, my left ankle is pretty much the size of an elephants come night time, I try to walk around during the day but being sat at a desk hinders it slightly.

No real contractions as yet, Saturday night we got some painful ones, but I attribute that to a long day on my feet walking and not enough water, DH got all excited and wanted to use his contraction timer app... *sigh*  I'm quite happy for baby to hang out safely inside me for another 3 weeks, I'm sure at 38 weeks I will be quite happy to have him in my arms!

The nursery is coming along swimmingly, the cloth diapers have all been washed and I'm waiting on the last batch drying before they can be put away.  The room makes me feel giddy inside, once LO arrives I will put up a picture - I think the only things left to do is make the mobile, and buy the medications/grooming stuff (nail clippers, hairbrush, vitamin D drops etc, nipple pads). Anything else I am missing?  Any recommendations on the med stuffs?

I am excited this month and the coming month, as so many of the bloggers I know are reaching the end of their pregnancy/adoption journeys and becoming mums.  It makes me smile inside and out as I read the stories and see the photos.  My heart breaks for some as they receive devastating news, and it brings back the grief and memories of our own losses and how hard this journey can be, I can only hope with all my heart that they achieve their dreams too.  I recall how hard the IF journey is, and how overcome with emotions I was during medicated cycles, and I know how strong each and every one of you are for continuing to push through to achieve your dreams.

Monday, 14 May 2012


days left to go! What a wonderful number!

Today I am dealing with the dregs of a cold that has been here for a week, I'm never sick and this one has totally floored me!  I can't actually remember the last time I had a cold... but boy it's making up for that.  I think it's on the way out though - I'm now at the congested in my throat stage, and can breath a little easier at least :)

Sunday was mothers day - it was a turning point day for me. It been a rough day for the last few years, having had 2 losses and it taking so long to finally get pregnant again, it's been a day I dread.  Seeing everyones' happy posts and the crazy commercialism push used to almost destroy me.  This year I was able to blissfully ignore it, I'm not a mum yet according to DH, but he did make me pancakes for breakfast :)

Sunday was a big day for me, in terms that I washed all the baby clothes!  I took off all the tags, and washed them and hung them out on the line to dry.  That was a huge step for me, I'm finally thinking that at the end of this journey we will have our LO in our arms.

On Friday and Saturday we went out and bought the car seat, the bassinet and a breast pump, and on Sunday evening we put the crib sheet and bumper pad up in the crib, and put away all his clothes into the dresser.  I had a small cry about potentially jinxing us, but DH gave me a hug, made me a cuppa tea and we played a board game.

Items left to purchase: bassinet mattress protector and sheet, change pad and cover, more cloth diaper inserts, bath wash stuff (still not sure what to get for that yet).

Thank you to all for your comments on my "friend" issue - I appreciated all your insight.  I think you guys are right, and it's time to let the relationship die a natural death, I'm not getting anything from it but grief, and as much as I keep trying for the childrens' sake, it's just making me angrier on the inside.

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Showering of Love

Saturday I had my baby shower - it's not a UK custom, but since I'm in Canada now, I guess we are supposed to accommodate their customs.

It was a beautiful day, my friend picked me up and we drove to the restaurant, 7 of my lovely friends were there - we had a lot of no shows - including one that really upset me.  This "friend" I have known for 7 years, helped with her first preemie baby, supported through a m/c, and even managed to stay in contact (although) lightly during her second pregnancy (where we had our 2nd m/c where our due date would have been 3 weeks after hers), she didn't show up - no call, no explanation, no contact at all for about a month.  I am tired of her drama though, and have decided that if she doesn't want to be friends, then as much as I will miss her oldest kid, I will be able to deal with it.

I feel really blessed though to have these 7 special women in my life, we had a lovely lunch, with some baby games interspersed and the most gorgeous cake ever!

I got a few items off my registry and my cloth diaper collection is on its way to being established :)  Given most of my friends are knitters I was surprised that I only got one knitted item, but I think everyone thought the same thing LOL  I had a fabulous time.

When I got home, I sat down in the rocking chair in the babies room, and ended up in tears.  I think the emotion of the day just overwhelmed me.

On Friday I bumped into an old friend I hadn't seen in awhile who is now 21 weeks pregnant, she was telling me her nursery was finished and all the clothes are washed and put away - and all I kept thinking was "how brave"....  I realised that I haven't washed any of the baby clothes that we purchased, or hung the curtains, or put on the crib bedding - it made me sad that at 32 weeks I still have my doubts we will end up with a little one in our arms :(

NST test this am, the baby did fabulous - we were in and out in 20 minutes, the accelerations were perfect :)  Belly is measuring in at 34 weeks, baby gestational age is 32w6d, next u/s is May 23rd - I can't wait to see how much he has grown and what he weighs in at.  I desperately want a photo of him too :)

I plan this weekend to buy the remaining needed items from the registry - bassinet, car seat, breast pump and cloth diapers.  Then over the next few weeks I'll pick up the remaining odds and ends, I'm not planning on a lot of clothes - we have 4 newborn onesies, and about 10 0-3 month onesies - I think that should be good as a starting point.