Tuesday, 16 August 2011


my friend had an 18wk ultrasound done.

It's a reminder that if things had gone as planned I'd be 16weeks now.  It's hard.  She is so very excited (obviously) and I am happy for her, but her happy unfiltered comments make me feel terrible.  I get the tightness in my chest and feel like I am going to throw up.

She knows the situation and was around for my first m/c in 2009 and knows we have been trying since then.  I have mentioned that it's very hard for me to discuss her pregnancy even though i am happy for her, and yet I get told unsolicited items about the baby moving, and I know that if i ask her to stop it will hurt her feelings.  But it's soul crushing in its own way, I have to suck it up and pretend everything is fine for the sake of her happiness.

On a happier note: 5lbs down - still a huge ways to go - I gained 20lbs after the m/c and it doesn't want to depart - ugh!  Tomorrow I will start exercising again and fingers crossed it will help start shifting it more.  OMG only 5 weeks to go until the IVF cycle begins!

1 comment:

  1. So sorry about your friend always talking about her pregnancy. It's hard because on one hand, I'm sure you want her to be able to share her life and happiness with you. On the other hand, though, it's terribly painful for you and she should be trying to be a little more sympathetic. I'm sure she has other people in her life to share those baby things with. :(.

    Anyway, your IVF begins soon and before you know it, you'll have your own baby news to share!!! So excited for you!