Monday, 7 November 2011


I sat for a while debating whether to write this all down, or chalk it up to hormones and miscommunication, and blogging won.  I'm upset and frustrated, and generally feeling a bit down.

I'm 6weeks and 4 days today, and the constant nausea appears to perhaps have transformed into vomiting.  I have a phobia about vomiting, I suppose no one really likes it, but it really freaks me out.  I turn into a sobbing mess.

My DH has been wonderful these past few weeks, given the fact that everything makes me feel like throwing up he's done 99% of the cooking and the cleaning and generally been quite lovely.  Today after I threw up that changed....

Usually I would throw up and immediately clean the toilet, but I physically couldn't.  I had thrown up in both the toilet and the sink, the reason being the first load of vomit went in the toilet and there was (TMI) some residual urine under the seat.  Given my sensitivity to smells that made vomiting even worse, so the next set went in the sink.

I sat down in my office and asked DH if he could clean the toilet, to which he took it completely the wrong way and stormed off, he then cleaned the bathroom, ignored me as I talked to him, and it turned into a screaming match.  He insisted I made him feel like he wasn't doing a good cleaning job, and proceeded to tell me all the things he's been doing, cooking and cleaning etc...

So that made me feel terrible (on top of feeling terrible).  I felt like he was complaining at having to take up the brunt of the housework and the cooking and, yes I was pissed.  I generally do all the cooking and we share the cleaning 50/50, but he's on nights right now so I haven't been cleaning during the day (on my work breaks) as he's asleep.  I feel like I am stuck right now - if i clean I make noise and wake him, if I don't he's obviously pissed off and holding it in.

Right now I'm struggling with my emotions over this pregnancy and am worried about the upcoming u/s and praying for a positive outcome, and I've been so grateful for all that he has done, and now i feel like he has hated every moment and just done it because he had to rather than wanted to help me.

I know pregnancy hormones don't help, but he just doesn't get it.  I mention how tired I am, and he says how tired he is working nights, I mean I get it - night shift is hard, but I'm growing a fricken baby and working full time.  When I am awake, my days are filled with headaches, gas, heartburn, nausea and fatigue, when i sleep I have a hard time staying asleep, and get 6-8 hours each night but interrupted by night wakings and the need to pee.

Most of all I hate how he made me feel, like I was being lazy and taking advantage, expecting him to do all this cause I didn't want to, rather than the fact that right now I feel like my body is inside-out and upside down.


  1. OH MY GOD it was like you have read my mind. I honestly think that my husband thinks when I am saying I am tired I am joking around or taking the piss. Don't get me wrong after all the crap we have been through I am so excited to be here but I just need a chop out from him. After the IVF drain and now this, just a little support would be good. I am still doing EVERYTHING and I know he is super busy but come on. Please a little help. If I wasn't working full time as well I could understand but I am still doing all of my stuff as well.

    I think that your hubby just had his PMS'y / preggy moment and when he comes home he will be apologetic. Let's be honest throwing up is just not fun. I guess like when we are IVF'g they just don't get it because they are not experiencing it.

    And you totally aren't being lazy at all. At all (had to be said twice to reiterate).

  2. The "I'm tired" thing has been making me nuts lately, too. Whenever I say it, my DH immediately goes on about how tired he is, too. He has no idea what I'm talking about. I can't stay awake by 7 pm. There's a difference between "I've been working all day and I'm tired" and "I've been working all day, I'm anxious, stressed, nauseous, worried, and can physically no longer keep my eyes open. Would it kill you to empty the dishwasher?" In general he's been wonderful, but sometimes he really doesn't get it. He made me dinner when I was on bedrest with bleeding but then left all the dishes out for two days until I finally had to clean it all up.

    You are in no way being lazy. I think he just doesn't know how to handle it. I'm so sorry he reacted so badly and I hope he begins to understand at some point.

  3. Oh, and I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad lately!

  4. Sorry to hear the hubs isn't being as supportive as you'd like. No man can understand just how TIRING those first few weeks of pregnancy are. Best of luck to you both in the coming weeks.

  5. Oh Rebecca you just said it perfectly! Do you still get the why are you worried / stresed / anxious I swear Chippie is sometimes the worst of the lot with the whole just relax chon argument. ugh. So glad not alone!

  6. I am so sorry you aren't feeling well. I am just a few days ahead of you and so far I haven't actually gotten sick...just nausea. Puking is terrible no matter what. My husband is a dr and does great at taking care of me but has never done housework in his life. He doesn't help with anything....except my nightly progesterone injections. (we eat out a lot) Hopefully your hubby will come to his senses and says he's sorry. I don't think the guys truely understand how hard this is for us.

  7. Oh No! You poor thing! That sucks that your husband isn't being as understanding as he could be. I think it's something a lot of women must face, though, because it's a fight my husband and I had early on as well. He told me he thought I was "milking it" and I flipped out. I finally sat him down and read some things to him about what my body is going through and he agreed to listen to me. I think men just don't understand the level of fatigue we're dealing with during these early stages. Not to mention the drain of the constant, won't-let-up nausea. I think it's best to try to talk it out and let him know how you are feeling. Hopefully he will begin to see exactly what you're going through here. Thinking of you!!

  8. Oh dear, throwing up is no fun but having a serious fear of it must be horrible. And about the husband, can you give him something to read so he can understand more what you go through?

    I'm a few days ahead of you and just waiting for the sickness to hit home. And it's allowed to vent about these things, it doesn't make you less grateful okay!

  9. Thanks ladies - you guys help keep me sane :)

    Dh came home with a book for me and a hoodie, from "squiggle" and "wiggle" - he's determined there are two... I'll be waiting till the u/s on Thursday. He apologised for being a jerk which was nice, but it would have been nicer if it hadn't happened at all!

  10. I'm glad that he apologized. It would have made things worse if he would have skipped the apology and acted like it didn't happen.

    I can't wait for you to post how many babies you're growing in there :)